Like any epic war story (and for me, yes, this IS epic), this one is a story of guts and glory, victories and defeats, and above all fighting with honor to the end!
Almost exactly one year ago, I can vividly recall myself saying to anyone within earshot that I was finished and done with running! I had just run 8 miles in the Ogden Relay and had once again hurt my left IT Band. I hobbled across the finish line and then it took me nearly 6 months to fully recover from that injury. Running never has been and I'm beginning to think never will be in the cards for me. And if it wasn't for the fact that I announced from the pulpit at T's funeral that I'd be willing to run a half marathon in his honor, I wouldn't be here today telling my running "War Story."
As with any war, it all starts with small battles. And boy did I have my fair share of battles during my training! I fought "The Battle of the First Mile." After not having run in over 5 months, I thought I was going to die of exhaustion and thought there was no way I was going to be able to run 12.1 more. I fought "The Battle of the Snow" when my comrade Diana and I ran through a snow storm. My eyelashes were frozen, my toes were nearly numb, and my face felt like it was going to fall off! But we came out victorious and finished it strong. I fought "The Battle of the South Weber Wind." Gusts of wind would came so strong that I thought it was going to knock me over for sure. I had to summon up every bit of strength and energy as I ran straight into the headwind of the vicious So. Weber wind. I fought "The Battle of the Rain" as my comrade and I ran in what started out as a sprinkle, but ended as a lot more than that of rain. A kind police officer even pulled over to tell us that we were crazy and asked us if we needed a ride. "No thanks," we shouted!! "We can do hard things!!!" (This became my mantra through all of my runs). I fought "The Battle of a Fallen Soldier" when my partner Diana hurt her leg and wasn't able to run for 3 weeks. "No one gets left behind," I told her, and I waited patiently for her to get on the mends and be able to run once again. I fought "The Battle of the Freezing Temperatures" as I attempted to run without my fallen comrade in snowy/windy 30 degree weather. This battle unfortunately, I didn't come out victorious. A mile into my run I mentally broke down and cried out that I couldn't do this any more!!! It was then that I turned around and walked back home in defeat. Not all battles are won. I fought "The Battle of Depression" as this time in my life was harder than I could imagine it to be. I scratched and clawed my way to not go into the deep dark dismal of depression. Sometimes I won this battle and sometimes I didn't. But running was my saving grace during this time. On the runs that I ran with my partner, I was able to vent and let my frustrations about life out. And on the runs that I did alone, I was able to run like there was no tomorrow (who knew I could run a 8:50 minute mile). This was MY time to sort out my thoughts and feelings and then run it all out! I fought "The Battle of an Oncoming Cold." This battle didn't have a chance from all my heavy ammunition. I loaded my body with Vitamin C, Zinc, Green Tea, and every fruit and vegetable I could get my hands on. And lastly, I fought "The Battle of the IT Band." Two weeks before the marathon I once again hurt my IT Band, only this time it was on my other knee. Knowing what I knew about my last IT Band injury, I knew that there was no way I would be healed in time for the race. Frustration doesn't even begin to describe what I was feeling when this happened. After all these battles I had fought, there was no way I wasn't fighting in the War. So I took it as easy as I could on myself and then prayed like crazy for a miracle.
I had so many well wishers and great advise leading up to the race, but the most influential thing that was said to me was by my dear husband. Matt had warned me before going into this that I was going to be in a lot of pain. He told me that I could either quit (ummm, not an option!!) or run knowing that my knee was going to hurt like you know what. So I chose the latter. But my favorite piece of advise that he gave me was, to enjoy myself. I knew I was going to be in pain, but just take it easy and take in the whole experience. So that I did!
On the day of "The Marathon War" I felt good. I got a good nights sleep, my knee felt really good, and I was mentally ready to take on the 1/2 marathon. Well, almost exactly one mile into the race my knee started to hurt! Dang it!! I thought for sure I'd be able to get a lot farther than that before it started hurting! With each mile the pain got worse and worse. Diana and I were running together at this point and I have to admit, I was completely checked out. I tried to concentrate on our conversations to get my mind off the pain, but I was failing miserably. I was convinced that this war was going to be lost. In fact I was making exit strategies to get me out of this dang war!!
But then the miracles I had been praying for came. They didn't come as I had wanted them to (I wanted to be miraculously healed!), they came in the form of Heavenly and earthly angels. My first angel was my mom. Diana and I were dedicating each mile to someone different. I don't remember what mile it was (I tell you my mind was gone!) but we decided to dedicate it to my mom. Diana asked what one of my favorite things about her is, and without even having to think about it I said that it was her excitement for things. She loved life and got so excited over everything! Now there are a gazillion things that I love about my mom and it was a little surprising to me that that was the thing that immediately came to my mind. It was then that I had a crystal clear image of my mom whooping and hollering encouragement and telling me how wonderful and proud she was of me. Talk about a huge mental boost! Knowing my mom was there cheering me on meant the world to me. I could do this!
Around mile 8 or 9 (they were all meshing together) Diana started to inch more and more ahead of me and I knew I couldn't keep up with her pace any more. Without any hesitation I told her to go ahead without me. I could tell she felt torn about it, but I assured her I'd be okay, gave her a hug, wished her well, and sent her on her way. The second I could no longer see Diana I started to tear up. How was I going to do this on my own? This is where Heavenly Angel #2 came. The second the first tear fell, I looked up and saw a huge sideways T on a sign. I wasn't on my own, T was there. He was only there for a short minute or two (I'm guessing a lot of people needed him that day), but he was definitely there pushing me harder than I thought possible. He wasn't going to let me give up! My knee was slowly giving out on me completely and my other knee was starting to get irritated also. Every step I took was in extreme pain, but Travis helped me to pick up my pace a bit and make it to my earthly angels.
At this point I had probably 3.5-4 miles left (this is a wild guess). I was approaching a crowd of people when I saw a familiar friendly face. My dear friend Kim was there to cheer me on. I shook my head at her in despair, but she yelled out to me words of encouragement. This gave me the extra boost I needed to get to my next angel, my sister-in-law Angie. She was waiting for her turn to run the last leg of the relay. The sight of her brought me to tears. Family was exactly what I needed at that point. I gave her a huge hug as she said who-knows-what to me (it doesn't matter what she said, all I needed was to see her), and then I was good to go! Physically I wasn't ready to go, but mentally I was ready to finish the race. Shortly after I saw Angie I wasn't able to run anymore. The pain was too unbearable. So I made the super difficult decision to finish the race walking, so I could at least finish at all. I probably looked ridiculous. My knee wouldn't bend anymore, so I had to swing my leg out to the side. But then my other knee was hurting too so I had to walk using my inner thigh muscles. Also, add on that my toes were feeling very sensitive so I couldn't make a complete step. I was in bad shape!! But as bad of shape as I was in, this was probably my most favorite part of the race. Matt's words of enjoying the experience for what it is, rang in my ears loud and clear. And that is exactly what I did. The scenery is breathtaking along the riverside and I was really able to enjoy that. I also was able to dedicate these miles to T and really think about him, his own war he fought with cancer, and the inspiration he is to me.... then I turned the corner onto Grant Street... :(
This was the home stretch. The troops were being called home! But the finish was still so far off!!! I could see it, but it wasn't coming any closer, in fact it felt like it was getting further away. Full marathoners were passing me, little old grandma's that were also running, took pity on me and asked if they could help, the sun was hot and there was no shade, the scenery turned from beautiful riverside nature to empty building lots and stoplights. This was torture!! Then my final earthly angel came to the rescue. Her name was Michelle and she was a volunteer worker for the marathon. She was encouraging all the runners to go faster and work harder, and then she saw poor pitiful me. She ran up beside me and began to walk with me. She asked about my injury and if I was going to be okay. She would run up ahead of me and show me stretches to help heal my injury. She gave me tips from ice baths to ibuprofen. She told me a little about her running history and her siblings battle with obesity. And she listened to me talk about T and why I was running in the first place. Before I knew it, I was only one block away from the finish line! Michelle patted me on the back, told me it was all me now, and then yelled out, "don't you walk across that finish line...RUN!!!" So I ran! How? I don't know. I'm sure it was quite the site to see. But I ran the best and the fastest I could and made sure to take in every single moment. I looked into the crowd at the friends and family calling my name. I saw my sister-in-law Monica and I saw my friends Becky and Diane and blew them a kiss. Then I blew a kiss to my mom and T. Then I saw my kids and my dad sitting with the rest of the family! That was more than I could handle. I started crying and ran over to them to give them all high fives. I felt like I was receiving a hero's welcome. Seconds after that I crossed the finish line! I did it!! The War was over and I came out victorious!
For the rest of the day I was very emotional. I heard story after story not unlike mine. So many people did things that they never thought they could do or wanted to do for that matter, all in honor of Travis. If you didn't know what kind of a man T was before this, that says it all. He touched so many lives and was such an inspiration, we all wanted to honor him in showing the same courage and determination he showed. He came out more than victorious from this war here on earth! I'm grateful for this experience. After all, no pain, no gain! I definitely felt the pain and in return was able to gain so much more than I thought possible from just a race.
The End.
POW's:
My right knee
My right calf
My left ankle
(who knows when they'll be released from capture)
Casualties of War:
Toenail #3 on left foot
Toenail #4 on left foot
Toenail #4 on right foot
Toenail #5 on right foot
(they're all goners)
Big toe #1 and toenail #2 on right foot are still touch and go. Big toe #1 is numb and toenail #2 is barely hanging in there. Please pray for their recovery.
Acknowledgements:
Thank you Mandy for being my example through all this. I looked to you for my strength and the will to continue through all my training.
Thank you Diana for being my training partner. You got quite the earful of my trials that I'm going through. Your listening ear and your words of kindness meant more to me than you'll ever know.
Thank you Matt for continually praising me in my training and still after the race. Your validation that I was doing good boosted my confidence.
Thank you Isaac and Luke for babysitting every Saturday while your crazy mom and dad went on their long runs. You did it without complaining and you continued to be supportive when the two of us would crash on the couch from exhaustion.
And lastly, I want to give a huge shout out to my brothers that ran. Both of you ran the full marathon and I couldn't be more impressed. I think about the two of you often and what you accomplished. It wasn't easy for either of you, but yet you still did it. We have one awesome family!!
